Sometimes we wonder,
‘What did I do to deserve this?’ or
‘Why did God have to do this to me?’
Here is a wonderful explanation!
A daughter is telling her Mother how everything
is going wrong, she’s failing algebra, her boyfriend
broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.
Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and
asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the
daughter says, ‘Absolutely Mom, I love your cake.’
‘Here, have some cooking oil,’ her Mother offers.
‘Yuck’ says her daughter.
‘How about a couple raw eggs?’ ‘Gross, Mom!’
‘Would you like some flour then?
Or maybe baking soda?’
‘Mom, those are all yucky!’
To which the mother replies:
‘Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves.
But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake! ‘
God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!
God is crazy about you.
He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He’ll listen.
He can live anywhere in the universe,
and He chose your heart.
If you like this, send this on
to the people you really care about.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
Category Archives: General
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The Insurance Pitch
Four insurance companies are in competition.
One comes up with the slogan “Coverage from the cradle to the grave.”
The 2nd one tries to improve on that with “Coverage from the womb to the tomb.”
Not to be outdone, the 3d one comes up with “From the sperm to the worm.”
The 4th insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with “From the erection to the resurrection”
Relationship
A relationship without trust is like a phone without service. And what you do with a phone that doesn’t have service?
PLAY GAMES 🙁
Facts of a Hard Corporate Life
In the past few years,
1. I learnt to operate 3 critical machines
* Scanner
* Printer
* Xerox Machine
2. I learnt to use 3 High End Software:
* Microsoft Word
* Microsoft Excel
* Microsoft PowerPoint
3. I learnt to use 3 great short cuts:-
* Ctrl+C
* Ctrl+V
* Ctrl+S
4. I learnt to say three very imp words for professional life:-
* Yes sir
* Ok sir
* I’ll Just Do That sir
5. When I really wanted to quit, I learnt to: –
* Wake Up early
* Sleep late
* Continue to Work
6. I learnt to: –
* Face Monday
* Fight For 6 Days
* Wait For Saturday
7. I learnt to give reasons to family frnds and relatives for not making
* Phone Calls
* Messages
* Mails
8. I learnt to celebrate these things far away from loved ones:-
* Birthday
* New Year
* Festivals
9. In last six years, People say:-
* You Learnt…
* You Earned…
* You Enjoyed…
10. But when I compare me with my self…
* I just Sustained…
* I just Tolerated…
* I just Survived… for bucks
11. I have survived:-
* For convenience of my Family…
* To avoid blame of Society…
* To get tag of Employment…
12. When I already knew that I have got the wrong train.
* I learnt to Rejoice…
* To be Happy…
* To Smile…
I learnt that corporate life and dreams can never meet… Because when they meet, both will lose their meaning…
Father's Day
America’s most confusing day: Father’s day ..
80% dont know whom to wish
20% are scared some one will come and wish them..=))
80% dont know whom to wish
20% are scared some one will come and wish them..=))
=======X=========X========X========X===========
Guys, please don’t accept calls from unknown numbers ON THIS day
u never know if its чσuя past waiting to wish u X_X
u never know if its чσuя past waiting to wish u X_X
Doctor Dave and his Guilt
Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldnt. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear an internal reassuring voice in his head that said
‘Dave dont worry about it, you arent the first medical practitioner to have slept with your patient and you wont be the last, plus your single so just let it go Dave”
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality by whispering “Dave…Dave…Dave…You sick bastard…YOU’RE A fuckin VET !!”
Crappy, Irrelavant, Facts
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months & 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee
(Hardly seems worth it.)3-|
If you farted consistently for 6 years & 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that’s more like it!)(y)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!):O
A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)\=D/
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.(Creepy.)X_X
(I’m still not over the pig.):D
Banging your head against a wall looses 150 calories an hour
(Don’t try this at home, maybe at work)8-|
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)=-?
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?>:/ )
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity);)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)8-|
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(Hmmmmmm..)(n)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)/:)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.(Still want 2 b the pig):P
A cat’s urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)nerd
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.(I know some people like that):P
Starfish have no brains(I know some people like that too.)8-|
Polar bears are left-handed.(If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer):|
Humans & dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??):s
If you’ve smiled at least once, so spread these crazy facts & send to someone you want to smile….
lucky pigs!!!!!
A diary entry by a man
Last week , my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, ‘I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’
I said, ‘WHAT??!! What was that?!’
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..
‘You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.’
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, ‘Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?’
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, ‘Lets get a pair for each outfit.’
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me…
She Finally said, ‘I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.’
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, ‘No honey, I don’t feel like it.’
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, ‘WHAT?’
I then said, ‘Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.’
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, ‘Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?’
Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least the bitch knows I’m smarter than her! =))