Category Archives: General

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The Italian Training

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : ‘Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?’
The husband laughs and says: ‘An Italian girl !!!’
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: ‘So, honey, how was the trip?’
‘Very good, thank you.’ ‘And, what happened to my present?’
‘Which present?’ She asked.
‘The one I asked for – an Italian girl!!’
‘Oh, that’ she said. ‘Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for 9 months to see if it is a girl !!!’
Moral of the story: Don’t tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent!

Labelled

They say:

  • If you’re bisexual, you’re confused.
  • If you’re gay, it’s a sin.
  • If you’re skinny, you’re on drugs.
  • If you’re fat, you look nasty.
  • If you’re dressed up, you’re conceited.
  • If you dress for comfort, you’re a slob.
  • If you speak your mind, you’re weird.
  • If you don’t say anything, you’re a punk.
  • If you are sweet to strangers, you are fake.
  • If you cry, you’re a drama queen.
  • If you have male friends, you’re a whore.
  • If you have female friends, you’re a player.

YOU can’t do anything without being labelled. We live in a society where people can’t survive if they’re not judging the next person…. !!!
Live n let live » love without tags

Indians will have their little Communities

You HAVE to be from India to enjoy this one.
Please share with your other ‘desi’ friends!
Bengali
One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.
More than four Bengali’s = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Team .
Bihari
One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = caste killing.
Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna .
Punjabi
One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.
Mallu
One Mallu = coconut stall.
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = oil slick.
Gujju
One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay ‘s noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.
Andhraite
One Andhraite = chili farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey.
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.
Kashmiri
One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.
Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.
Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.
Tamil-Brahmin
One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tam-Brahms = Maths tuition class.
Three Tam-Brahms = Queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival inSanta Clara .
Mumbaikar
One Mumbaikar = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Mumbaikars = film studio.
Three Mumbaikars = slum.
Four Mumbaikars = The number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour.
Sindhi
One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar .
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association

Ringtones

A- 34 Call Ringtones
1- BB awesome: https://goo.gl/4by9f
2- Billie Jean: https://goo.gl/NG4KS
3- Bmw: https://goo.gl/JJRUU
4- Bond 007: https://goo.gl/sWwZT
5- Call of Duty: https://goo.gl/4YOv7
6- Coool Tune: https://goo.gl/BN5G0
7- Counter Strike: https://goo.gl/urQPn
8- Arabic Style Remix: https://goo.gl/VTGnZ
9- Arabic Tabla: https://goo.gl/Uleuw
10- Dairy milk: https://goo.gl/OuI5u
11- Dragon Ball: https://goo.gl/HiYST
12- Ferrari F1: https://goo.gl/Y7LYc
13- Ghost Rider: https://goo.gl/8WxMK
14- Guitar Ultimate: https://goo.gl/28fT7
15- Har ek Friend: https://goo.gl/JfRvz
16- I like 2 move it: https://goo.gl/Z3usu
17-iPhone 4s: https://goo.gl/77SPj
18-Metal
gear solid: https://goo.gl/f3AJE
19- Mission Impossible-4: https://goo.gl/L0ixg
20- Need for speed: https://goo.gl/PSBEB
21- Airtell 2011: https://goo.gl/DAVbW
22- NFS undercover: https://goo.gl/m8ZX2
23- PapanAmerikano: https://goo.gl/xWZ6b
24- Party rock lmfao: https://goo.gl/gQHVS
25- Resident evil: https://goo.gl/zboV0
26- Sholay ultimate: https://goo.gl/RFnGQ
27- Silent hill siren: https://goo.gl/SyBIL
28- ST Tropez: https://goo.gl/noSqu
29- Step up2 3d bass: https://goo.gl/I3XcW
30- Stereo Nation: https://goo.gl/Kmbn6
31- Top gear: https://goo.gl/46eR4
32- Turkish Nokia ring: https://goo.gl/yW7HY
33- Twilight piano: https://goo.gl/SVWy7
34- VIP Ringtone: https://goo.gl/bQIiW
B- 7 SMS Tones
1- Android: https://goo.gl/3vuM2
2- Dj Sms: https://goo.gl/qR5w2
3- Hello Kitty: https://goo.gl/QWMZr
4- Nokia Beep: https://goo.gl/MQ4s5
5- Nokia sms remix: https://goo.gl/G4GVR
6- Sniper rifle: https://goo.gl/kDBSd
7- Space: https://goo.gl/WmgSz
Enjoy  …..

When Girls Drink too much…

When girls drink too much…………
1. They have absolutely no idea where their purse is.:/:s
2. They believe that dancing with their arms overhead and wiggling their butt while yelling “woo-hoo!” is truly the sexiest dance move around.;;):*
3. They’ve suddenly decided that they want to kick someone’s ass and honestly believe they could do it too.  ;):p
4. They get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song play’s because “oh my god! I love this song!”<3<3<3
5. They’ve found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to them.*nerd*o:)
6. They’ve suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it. :x:$
7. They flirt with the bartender:&(n)
8. They take their shoes off because they believe it’s the shoes fault that they’re having problems walking straight

Sex Therapy

Did you know that we can determine if a person is SEXUALLY Active just by looking at his/her skin?
1. SEX is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests have shown that when a woman has SEX she produces large amounts of estrogen which makes her hair shiny & soft.
2. To Make LOVE in a soft & relaxed way reduces the possibility of suffering from dermatitis & acne. The sweat produced cleans pores & makes the skin shine.
3. To Make LOVE always allows you burn all the calories accumulated daily.
4. SEX is one of the safest sports. It strengthens & tones all the body muscles. Its more enjoyable than doing 20 laps in the swimming pool & you don’t need special shoes!
5. SEX is an instantaneous cure against depression & stress. It frees endorphines in the blood flow, creating a state of euphoria & leaves us with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more we Make LOVE, the more we have the capacity to do more. A SEXUALLY ACTIVE BODY releases a higher amount of pheromone. This subtle aroma excites the opposite SEX !
7. SEX is the safest tranquilizer in the world. ITS 10 TIMES MORE EFFICIENT THAN VALIUM.
8. To kISS everyday allows you to avoid the dentist. Kissing produces saliva in cleaning teeth & lowers the quantity of acids causing enamel weakening.
9. SEX relieves headaches. Each time we make love, it releases the tension in our brain veins.
10. To Make LOVEl a lot can heal a nasal congestion. SEX is a natural antihistaminic. It helps fight asthma & spring allergies.
Moral: SEX each day keeps the doctor away

Taxi Driver

A passenger touched the taxi driver on the shoulder to ask him to stop
The driver screamed, lost control, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, & smashed against a wall.
Then the driver said:
“Don’t ever do that again, you scared me!
The passenger asked:
How did a little touch scare you so much?
Driver replied,
Its my frist day as a taxi driver. I’ve been driving a van carrying Dead Bodies for the last 25 years!!!

Incredible India

Funny meanings of places in english
.
1=Large State
“Maha-Rastra”
.
2:place of Kings
“Raja-Sthan”
.
3=Mr. City
“Shri-Nagar”
.
4=Rhythm of Eyes
“Nayni-Tal”
.
5=Face
“Surat”
.
6=Unmarried Girl.
“Kanya-Kumari”
.
7=No Zip.
“Chen-Nai”
.
8=Come in Evening.
“Aa-Sam”
.
9=Go and Come.
“Go-Aa”
.
10=Answer State.
“Uttar-Pradesh”
.
11=Make Juice.
“Bana-Ras”
.
12=Do Drama.
“Kar-Natak”
.
13=Green Gate.
“Hari-Dwar”
.
Amazing. Incredible  INDIA!!