Category Archives: scary

Lawyers

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!


ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.


ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.


ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.


ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?


ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.


ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?


ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid


ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?


ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.


ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.


ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.


ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…


ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.


ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?


And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Population Statistics Simplified

The current population of Earth is around 7.8 Billion.
For most people, it is a large figure, that is all.

 However, someone has condensed the 7.8 billion in the world into 100 persons,
and then into various percentage statistics.
The resulting analysis is relatively much easier to comprehend.

Out of 100:

11 are in Europe
5 are in North America
9 are in South America
15 are in Africa
60 are in Asia

49 live in the countryside
51 live in cities

12 speak Chinese
5 speak Spanish
5 speak English
3 speak Arabic
3 speak Hindi
3 speak Bengali
3 speak Portuguese
2 speak Russian
2 speak Japanese
62 speak their own language.

77 have their own houses
23 have no place to live.

21 are over-nourished
63 can eat full
15 are under-nourished
1 ate the last meal, but did not make it to the next meal.

The daily cost of living for 48 is less than US$2.

87 have clean drinking water
13 either lack clean drinking water or have access to a water source that is polluted.

75 have mobile phones
25 do not.

30 have internet access
70 do not have conditions to go online

7 received university education
93 did not attend college.

83 can read
17 are illiterate.

33 are Christians
22 are Muslims
14 are Hindus
7 are Buddhists
12 are other religions
12 have no religious beliefs.

26 live less than 14 years
66 died between 15 – 64 years of age
8 are over 65 years old.

If you have your own home,
Eat full meals & drink clean water,
Have a mobile phone,
Can surf the internet, and
have gone to college,
You are in the miniscule privileged lot.
(in the less than 7% category)

Amongst 100 persons in the world, only 8 can live or exceed the age of 65.

you are over 65 years old. Be content & grateful.  Cherish life, grasp the moment.

You did not leave this world before the age of 64 years like the 92 persons who have gone before you. You are already the blessed amongst mankind.

Take good care of your own health because nobody cares more than you yourself!

Cherish every remaining moment.

Taiwan Kite Festival – Viral Video

A little girl flown away with the Kite…GOD was kind to her…watch..

The international kite festival was being held in the city of Hsinchu, south of the capital Taipei. Video of the accident, which circulated widely on social media, show several people preparing the large long-tailed pale orange kite for flight next to a crowd of viewers. The kite is already billowing from the strong wind.

Then, the organizers let the kite go — and it flies up, along with a toddler dangling from its tail. It’s not clear how close she was to the kite on the ground, or how she got caught in it.

She was airborne for about 30 seconds before the kite was pulled low enough for audience members to grab and release her.