After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson.
As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: Hi sweetheart it’s Eric, I’m on the train “ yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting “ no, honey, not with that floozie from the accounts office, with the boss. No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life “ yes, I’m sure, cross my heart etc., etc.
Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly , when the young woman sitting next to him, who was obviously angered by his continuous diatribe, yelled at the top of her voice: Hey, Eric, turn that stupid phone off and come back to bed!
Eric doesn’t use his cell phone in public any longer
Category Archives: Silly
Sexual Harassment and Dirty talk
When a man talks dirty to a women its sexual harassment..:(
N
When a woman talks dirty to a man its 10rs per minute.!!
The Insurance Pitch
Four insurance companies are in competition.
One comes up with the slogan “Coverage from the cradle to the grave.”
The 2nd one tries to improve on that with “Coverage from the womb to the tomb.”
Not to be outdone, the 3d one comes up with “From the sperm to the worm.”
The 4th insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with “From the erection to the resurrection”
Lie Detector
A man buys a lie detector robot which slaps people who lie. He decides 2 test it @ dinner.
Dad: Son, where were u today during school hours?
SON: at School. Robot slaps son! Ok,I lied, I went to the movies.
DAD: Which one?
SON: Toy Story. Robot slaps son again! Ok, it was Bedroom Eyes.
DAD: What?! When I was ur age,I didn’t even know what films were.. Robot slaps Dad!
MOM: Ha ha! After all he’s ur son. Robot slaps mom…!
Total Silence…! 🙂
Mom's Child
David’s mom had 4 children..
- 1st child’s name was 25 fils,
- 2nd was 50 fils, and
- third was 75 fils.
What was the name of fourth child ???
Turner Brown – The Big, Huge, Black Guy
Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him looks down and says: ‘7 Feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.’
The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.
The big guy says: ‘What’s wrong with you?’
In a weak voice the little guy says, ‘What EXACTLY did you say to me?’
The big dude says: ‘I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give You the answers to the questions everyone always asks me…..
I’m 7 feet tall,
I weigh 350 pounds,
I have a 20 inch private,
my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.’
The small guy says: ‘Turner Brown?!…Sweet Lord,
I thought you said:
‘Turn around’ !=)) =D
Height of Miscommunication!!!!!!
Once there were twins – Mark and Michael.
Mark was the owner of a dilapidated old boat and Michael was married 2 a beautiful yung gal…
It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank.
A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael.
She said, “I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible.”
Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, “Heck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten Old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was
when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle.”
The old lady fainted :O=))
Strike
College girls went on strike.
Boys also joined them.
Girls shouted:
We want justice.
We want justice.
Boys also shouted:
We want just tits.
We want just tits.:P
Pranab for President
Pranab Mukherji after being nominated for president:
‘Mera khada hona bahut mushkil tha, yeh to Soniaji ka HATH KA KAMAAL HAI.’
Egyptian Mummy
21st Century kids standing at museum looking at an Egyptian mummy with 1227BC written below.
1st Kid: What does that mean.
2nd Kid: Must be his BBM Pin.