Tag Archives: Adult

Old Couple’s Passion

The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.”
Yes, she says, “I remember it well.”
OK, he says, “How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?”
“Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!”
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having
sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, “Excuse me, but that was something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?”
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
“Fifty years ago that wasn’t an electric fence.”

Growing up!! Aah…

Somewhere between
“ 8 toffees for 1 rupee” and
“1 toffee for 8 rupees”,
we grew up*!

Somewhere between
“stealing chocolate from our sister” and “Buying chocolate for her children”,
we grew up!

Somewhere between
“Just five more mins Maa” and “Pressing the snooze button”,
we grew up!

Somewhere between
“Crying out loud just to get what we want” and
“Holding our tears when we are broken inside”,
we grew up!

Somewhere between
“I want to grow up” and
“I want to be a child again”,
we grew up!

Somewhere between
“Lets meet and plan” and
“Lets plan and meet”,
we grew up!

Somewhere between
“Being afraid of our parents”
and
“Praying for our parents” we finally grew up
And as we grew up, we realize;

How silently, our lives have changed..

A Penal Request

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary on the following reasons:

  • I do physical labor.
  • I work at great depths.
  • I work in high temperatures.
  • I work in a damp environment.
  • I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
  • I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
  • My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
  • I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request under the following reasons:

  • You are unable to work double shifts.
  • You do not work 8 hours straight.
  • You will retire well before you are 65.
  • You fall asleep after brief work periods.
  • You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
  • You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
  • You do not take initiative – you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
  • You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
  • You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as; wearing the required protective clothing.
  • You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed an assigned task.
  • And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,
V. Gina