Tag Archives: Covid-19

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Business in a Pandemic

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This is how the pandemic has affected the economy: (and enjoy the nuances of the English language)

This lockdown has led to several local businesses going bankrupt.
The blouse manufacturer has gone bust.
The specialist in submersibles has gone down under.
The manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation.
A dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers.
The suppliers of paper for origami enthusiasts has folded.
The Heinz factory has been canned as they couldn’t ketchup with expenses.
The tarmac laying company has reached the end of the road.
The bread company has run out of dough.
The clock manufacturer has had to wind down and the owner has gone cuckoo.
The Chinese food company has been taken away.
The shoe shop owner has had to put his foot down and given his staff the boot.
The laundrette has been taken to the cleaners.
The bread bakeries are all toast.
And yes, it’s curtains for theatres.

Jokes

The Neo Normal

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Puns of the Year

•If you see me leaving this group, please add me again. It’s just that I’m so desperate to go out! 😜

•Never in my wildest dreams have I imagined myself entering a bank, wearing a mask 😷, and asking for money.

•Never thought my hands would one day consume more alcohol than my liver…ever! 🤷🏻‍♀️

•Quarantine seems like a Netflix series: just when you think it’s over, they release the next season…😕

•I’m starting to like this mask thing. I went to the supermarket yesterday and two people that I owe money to didn’t recognize me…😁

•Those complaining 2020 didn’t have enough holidays, what now?! 🙄🙄

•I need to social distance myself from my fridge; I tested positive for excess weight! 🤢

•Could someone tell me if the second quarantine would be with the same family or we get to exchange? 😆

•I’m not planning on adding 2020 to my age. I didn’t even use it! 😬

•We want to publicly apologize to the year 2019 for all the bad things we said about it….🤭

•To all the ladies who were praying for their husbands to spend more time with them, how are you doing? 😝

•My washing machine only accepts pyjamas these days. I put in a pair of jeans 👖 and a message popped up : “Stay Home!” 👻

•If I see anyone crying on 31st December over the year coming to an end, I would personally smash a bottle on their head! 🤕

•After all that we have been through right now, the only thing missing would be the vaccine getting released in suppository form… 😐

•I feel like a teenager all year long: no money in the wallet, hair long and out of control, thinking what to do with my life, and grounded at home….😰